My Close Encounter of the Second Kind

The crop-hyphen, as seen from my window on the universe (my back door).

I’ve just discovered a rather odd thing that appears to be a crop circle here in Niagara, Ontario, Canada. It’s in my neighbour’s backyard and is clearly visible from my back door.

It literally appeared overnight and my wife and I saw and heard nothing, not even the high-pitched humming, buzzing, or clicking sounds that are sometimes reported in such situations. Neither of us woke up with our pants on backwards so we’re pretty sure that we weren’t probed by any aliens.

Looking westward at the crop-hyphen. Taken with a Nikon D300 with my Sigma 10-20mm f/4-5.6 @ mounted and set at 10mm.

Same as the photo above except taken with the camera held over my head to show how the aliens see their handiwork while hovering over my neighbour's yard. Taken with my Nikon D300 with a Samyang 8mm f/3.5 fisheye mounted.

I know that some sceptic will bring up the fact that it is not circular or as ornate as other crop circles we have seen and that it’s not in a crop, it’s etched into a lawn. OK then, let’s call it a crop-hyphen. Forget about the lawn distinction… calling it a lawn-hyphen will only confuse people and is sure to play into the aliens’ hands (or tentacles) and assist them in their evil agenda.

Views of the ends of the Niagara Crop-Hyphen. The south end (left) was taken with a Sigma 10-20mm f/4-5.6 @ 11.5mm and the north end (right) was taken with my Samyang 8mm f/3.5 fisheye lens.

As for its lack of complexity, maybe fuel prices are hitting the little green guys hard, too. I kind of like my neighbour’s crop-hyphen. It’s simplicity is kind of funky, in a minimalistic kind of way.

Obviously the aliens have marked my neighbourhood for some kind of staging site for an upcoming invasion or something. I just don’t know what to do other than cover my roof with aluminium foil. I’m led to believe foil is a first-class death ray and mind-control beam deflector.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Please leave your comments below but be forewarned that it might take me a while to respond to them… the roof’s foil job is probably going to take a some time.

[There have been a recent developments… check them out at “Update on the Niagara Crop Hyphen” and “The Niagara Crop-Hyphen: The Final Frontier“]

About HoaiPhai

I'm up late digging up the dirt. View all posts by HoaiPhai

20 responses to “My Close Encounter of the Second Kind

  • Martina

    Make sure you establish a good base of operations! Alien forces are going to attack when you least expect it! And the aluminum foil is one great idea 🙂
    Pictures are great as always, this entry was really enjoyable!

    • HoaiPhai

      Thanks for your tips and words of encouragement! I’ve also taken the precaution of slathering mayonnaise on the exterior stairs and window sills in case the little green guys try to get into the house.
      Thanks for the compliment on the photos… I tried to make the look like the photos you always see of UFOs, landing sites, Big Foot, etc. — a little spooky with muddy colours.

  • Redneckprincess

    I think you need not only to do your roof in tin foil, but you should make yourself a tinfoil HAT, and wear it all the time, even when you are sleeping…just in case.

    • HoaiPhai

      I’ve gone one better. I have a lead-lined toupee that I had a body piercing place staple to my scalp… you can’t be too careful. I tried the tinfoil hat but it kept chafing my ears. Many thanks for looking out for me, though!

  • Ape No. 1

    I have some very bad news for you. I have seen this type of thing before and I am afraid it has been built by a species far worse than aliens. It looks like a cricket pitch which means you have a bad infestation of Australians next door. Based on the research done by the Goodies you will need to lure them out pied piper style wearing khaki shorts and playing the digeridoo. Good luck and hide your beer.

    • HoaiPhai

      Oh crikey! You seem to really know your stuff. Tell me, if I removed my lead toupee and smeared Vegemite all over my scalp, do you think that would help?

  • xeriouslywtf

    It suspiciously looks like a landing strip for an alien vessel. I sense your neighborhood maybe the staging ground for an full scale invasion. Be strong and keep us updated.

    • HoaiPhai

      Thanks for the words of encouragement. I’ll try to keep y’all updated but as for the being strong, I’ve already had to change my pants twice today. That’s no easy task because I’ve replaced my belt with a steel cable secured with a lock to make sure I don’t get probed.

  • Update on the Niagara Crop-Hyphen « HoaiPhai

    […] you have not seen "My Close Encounter of the Second Kind", this post probably won't make much sense to […]

  • japecake

    You realize, of course, that with the addition of two small conventional crop circles, you could break new ground with the world’s first crop percent sign.

  • Hippie Cahier

    Canada has all the coolest stuff. If your other neighbor has a crop-flying comma, I’m headed north.

  • Carl D'Agostino

    Love tongue in cheek humor and you pull this one off quite well. We now have undeniable proof against the claims of the Area 51 guys. Have you brought in CNN yet on this?

    • HoaiPhai

      I don’t know if you looked at the two follow-up posts which not only show an alien, but also photographic proof of their agenda. I did call the major media outlets and they sent some people around but the next day I started getting calls from their handlers wondering where they were. It seems as though a lot of the news people who did show up just disappeared. Thanks for dropping by!

  • The Niagara Crop-Hyphen: The Final Frontier « HoaiPhai

    […] you're wondering what happened that I'm glad is over, first go to My Close Encounter of the Second Kind and then to Update on the Niagara Crop-Hyphen.] GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); […]

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