Today “The Versatile Blogger Award”, Tomorrow the Stars!

My sucking up to the upper crust of WordPress society has finally paid off — I am the most recent recipient of The Versatile Blogger Award!

Blonde? Check! Blue eyes? Check! Has a lot of critters moseying about the homestead? Check! Likes country music? Check! I'm sorry... I just cannot tell the BC and the Tennessee redneck princesses apart.

That west-coast blogging dynamo and Canada’s answer to Elly May Clampett, The Redneck Princess, graciously nominated me for this honour by sticking my name, my IP address, and my earmuff size in an old Waylon Jennings cassette box and heaving it at an out-of-country tax evader who frequently stops by where she works to “mean mouth” the staff and try to fraudulently unload weathered lawn plumbing that she didn’t even buy there.

Now this isn’t your ordinary award — there are rules, and obligations, and all kinds of stuff that if I don’t do it just right, The Princess might send the menfolk ’round to take a switch to me and possibly throw me a whoopin’ or a beatin’, and I certainly wouldn’t want that. I saw Deliverance and those mountain men have a strange idea of what a pretty mouth is, and I would prefer not finding out if I qualify. So, here are the rules:

  1. Thank and link to the person who nominates you.
  2. Share seven random facts about you.
  3. Pass this award on to five new blogging friends.
  4. Contact and congratulate the awarded bloggers.

This award will soon find a permanent home in my widget area.

OK. I’m pretty sure I have #1 covered but, just to make absolutely sure, “Much obliged, Miss Donna!”

Now, #2 seems like it will be a bit trickier than #1 in as much as they included the word “fact” right there in the rule and for any of you who has read my blog knows it’s pretty lean on anything factual. We’ll take a stab at some true things about me…

  • Fact: I was once barred from a Chinese buffet for overconsumption. I was, however, invited back to dine à la carte.
  • Fact: Yoko, my 1996 Integra, is coming up on her 350,000 km birthday and is still running great, no oil leaks, and has to be held in check to avoid speeding tickets. Every motorized vehicle I have ever owned that required a driver’s licence for its legal operation has been Honda powered (but I’m open to buying other brands, but don’t need one right now).
  • Fact: I was offered (I didn’t apply) a full two-year, books and tuition scholarship to a top Canadian university and I turned it down. I think of the approximately ten-year period of my life when this happened as “The Age of Dumbness”.
  • Fact: I’m known amongst my friends and family as the go-to guy for a fantastic cup of coffee.
  • Fact: My feet are so flat that I leave arguably non-human footprints.
  • Fact: I cook and eat curries more often than any other dish.
  • Fact: Up to when I was about 48, my blood pressure was normally so low that medical staff had trouble measuring it and the automatic blood pressure machines in pharmacies would register either “zero” or “error”.

Wow! Am I not an interesting guy? At least my Seven Facts beat the tar out of anything listed on the Bieber Fever fan site!

OK, Rule #2 is out of the way but now comes the really hard one — I have to bestow this honour on only five other bloggers. This is really tough because I read many blogs and each has its appeal. If I could, I’d list everyone on my Blogroll (it’s over there ). So, here are the newest inductees to the Versatile Blogger Award!

  • The Hook — For an engaging look into the professional and personal life of a hotel worker, pay this guy a visit and don’t forget to tip otherwise you might be the subject of his next rant. He has also posted more comments on my blog than anyone else and lives somewhere in the same region that I do so if snubbed for this award it would be easiest for him to come over and slap me around.
  • The Hobbler — A woman with a truly warped sense of humour who isn’t afraid to tackle life’s day-to-day ups and downs in her always entertaining blog.
  • badlandsbadley —  The very first person to comment on my blog, this guy combines a strange perspective with a truly readable writing style. The only problem is that he doesn’t post nearly often enough for my liking.
  • Hippie Cahier — I was first attracted to reading her blog because her avatar (and the witty comment that she made on a third party’s blog) brought me back to a happy place in my teens in the ’70s. You’ll enjoy her writings and the comments of her loyal following!
  • The Simian Monologues — Ape No. 1 is the Australian who runs the joint. Not only is he “out back” and “down under”, a combination that sounds slightly x-rated to me (but his blog isn’t), he’s “out to lunch” as well. You’ll go bananas over his stuff which sometimes takes an unexpected direction. The blog entries are adorned with bizarre  images with hilarious captions. He’s a busy chimp in the real world so he doesn’t post nearly as often as you’ll want to read him.

Honourable Mention: I’m breaking tradition here and adding a sixth winner of The Award. This blogger not only claims to be God’s gift to women, he also supposedly speaks Chinese (but if you don’t yourself speak the language, how can you check?), has a job, acted in Scotland for a while, and is the proud owner of a smoking jacket. Frankly, I don’t care if he’s a single unemployed crumb broom salesman living in Detroit. Every one of his blog entries are masterpieces, he remains in character throughout, he engages his followers with group participation pieces, replies to hundreds of comments weekly (perhaps daily), and he posts almost every friggin day. He must be on some type of literary Viagra or something to be able to keep it up for the long haul. I’m speaking of none other than The Good Greatsby.

Well, I’m off now to contact the winners but would like to thank The Redneck Princess one last time.

Happy blogging!

About HoaiPhai

I'm up late digging up the dirt. View all posts by HoaiPhai

17 responses to “Today “The Versatile Blogger Award”, Tomorrow the Stars!

  • The Hook

    Not to worry, I’d never engage in animal cruelty!
    Thanks for the award, though.

  • Hippie Cahier

    >>•Fact: I was once barred from a Chinese buffet for overconsumption. I was, however, invited back to dine à la carte.<<

    Ohmygosh, you're THAT guy?!?!? I thought that was an urban legend!

    Congratulations to you on this fine accomplishment and thank you so very much for the nod.

    • HoaiPhai

      Yup, that was me and the guy with me was my friend, Fat Tommy.

      Fat Tommy used to call my house and if I wasn’t home he’d leave a message like “Tell him to call Fat Tommy”. Honestly! The incident in question happened when I was about 17 and all of about 120 lbs. and FT and I used to go out to eat after having dinner with our families (we were bottomless pits!). He called me one Monday at about 7:30 and says, “I’ve found a Chinese buffet for $2.25”, to which I responded “You’re kidding, right?”. He said, “I never joke about food. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” So we got to the buffet and ate untill it closed at 10:00. We went back each of the next three days, but arrived at I think it was 5:00, the time the buffet opened, and stayed until closing. On the Friday, we walk up to the door and the manager was standing outside and broke the bad news to us. The place is still there, or so a quick googling tells me, and is Called Hum’s Restaurant on Sherbrooke Street West in Montreal.

      You’re blog is is definitely nod-worthy!

      • Hippie Cahier

        I think everyone should have a friend called Fat Tommy.

        Unless that friend is me.

        I don’t want to be called Fat Tommy.

      • HoaiPhai

        I wish I still had Fat Tommy as a friend! He had a real knack for meeting people and attracting weird situations… never a dullmoment with Tommy around! I just lost touch with him at the end of the ’70s but I did bump into him a couple of years later under the most serendipitous of circumstances. I heard rumours about where he is but nothing confirmed. If anyone out there knows where Fat Tommy from the Côte-des-Neiges district of Montreal is, please drop me a line!

  • Redneckprincess

    Hahahahah, ok, seriously that is the most awesome description I have ever had, proves once again how much you deserved the award, far far more than funny 🙂 Thanks for the morning chuckle 🙂

    • HoaiPhai

      You’re very welcome and glad you liked it! And thanks again for the award. I’m just a little disappointed the Jessica Alba didn’t have anything to do with the award presentation ceremony!

    • HoaiPhai

      You’re very, very welcome! Anyone who shares my opinion that a skunk would make a great pet in a household where cats are forbidden either deserves an award or is best placated into a feeling of social acceptance!

  • gojulesgo

    Woo hoo! Congratulations!!

  • Mike Lilly

    Congrats on this well deserved award! Could a Pulitzer be next?

    • HoaiPhai

      Thank you, Sir! I don’t know about a Pulitzer but the English department at the local university mentioned something about a Howitzer in connection to stuff I’ve written!

  • lovelylici1986

    I need pictures of those footprints!

  • Back-to-back Honours « HoaiPhai

    […] Princess nominated me for this very award back in September, I was required to nominate only 5 other people! Are the good people at the Academy for the Versatile Blogger Award aware of this […]

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