My sucking up to the upper crust of WordPress society has finally paid off — I am the most recent recipient of The Versatile Blogger Award!
That west-coast blogging dynamo and Canada’s answer to Elly May Clampett, The Redneck Princess, graciously nominated me for this honour by sticking my name, my IP address, and my earmuff size in an old Waylon Jennings cassette box and heaving it at an out-of-country tax evader who frequently stops by where she works to “mean mouth” the staff and try to fraudulently unload weathered lawn plumbing that she didn’t even buy there.
Now this isn’t your ordinary award — there are rules, and obligations, and all kinds of stuff that if I don’t do it just right, The Princess might send the menfolk ’round to take a switch to me and possibly throw me a whoopin’ or a beatin’, and I certainly wouldn’t want that. I saw Deliverance and those mountain men have a strange idea of what a pretty mouth is, and I would prefer not finding out if I qualify. So, here are the rules:
- Thank and link to the person who nominates you.
- Share seven random facts about you.
- Pass this award on to five new blogging friends.
- Contact and congratulate the awarded bloggers.
OK. I’m pretty sure I have #1 covered but, just to make absolutely sure, “Much obliged, Miss Donna!”
Now, #2 seems like it will be a bit trickier than #1 in as much as they included the word “fact” right there in the rule and for any of you who has read my blog knows it’s pretty lean on anything factual. We’ll take a stab at some true things about me…
- Fact: I was once barred from a Chinese buffet for overconsumption. I was, however, invited back to dine à la carte.
- Fact: Yoko, my 1996 Integra, is coming up on her 350,000 km birthday and is still running great, no oil leaks, and has to be held in check to avoid speeding tickets. Every motorized vehicle I have ever owned that required a driver’s licence for its legal operation has been Honda powered (but I’m open to buying other brands, but don’t need one right now).
- Fact: I was offered (I didn’t apply) a full two-year, books and tuition scholarship to a top Canadian university and I turned it down. I think of the approximately ten-year period of my life when this happened as “The Age of Dumbness”.
- Fact: I’m known amongst my friends and family as the go-to guy for a fantastic cup of coffee.
- Fact: My feet are so flat that I leave arguably non-human footprints.
- Fact: I cook and eat curries more often than any other dish.
- Fact: Up to when I was about 48, my blood pressure was normally so low that medical staff had trouble measuring it and the automatic blood pressure machines in pharmacies would register either “zero” or “error”.
Wow! Am I not an interesting guy? At least my Seven Facts beat the tar out of anything listed on the Bieber Fever fan site!
OK, Rule #2 is out of the way but now comes the really hard one — I have to bestow this honour on only five other bloggers. This is really tough because I read many blogs and each has its appeal. If I could, I’d list everyone on my Blogroll (it’s over there →). So, here are the newest inductees to the Versatile Blogger Award!
- The Hook — For an engaging look into the professional and personal life of a hotel worker, pay this guy a visit and don’t forget to tip otherwise you might be the subject of his next rant. He has also posted more comments on my blog than anyone else and lives somewhere in the same region that I do so if snubbed for this award it would be easiest for him to come over and slap me around.
- The Hobbler — A woman with a truly warped sense of humour who isn’t afraid to tackle life’s day-to-day ups and downs in her always entertaining blog.
- badlandsbadley — The very first person to comment on my blog, this guy combines a strange perspective with a truly readable writing style. The only problem is that he doesn’t post nearly often enough for my liking.
- Hippie Cahier — I was first attracted to reading her blog because her avatar (and the witty comment that she made on a third party’s blog) brought me back to a happy place in my teens in the ’70s. You’ll enjoy her writings and the comments of her loyal following!
- The Simian Monologues — Ape No. 1 is the Australian who runs the joint. Not only is he “out back” and “down under”, a combination that sounds slightly x-rated to me (but his blog isn’t), he’s “out to lunch” as well. You’ll go bananas over his stuff which sometimes takes an unexpected direction. The blog entries are adorned with bizarre images with hilarious captions. He’s a busy chimp in the real world so he doesn’t post nearly as often as you’ll want to read him.
Honourable Mention: I’m breaking tradition here and adding a sixth winner of The Award. This blogger not only claims to be God’s gift to women, he also supposedly speaks Chinese (but if you don’t yourself speak the language, how can you check?), has a job, acted in Scotland for a while, and is the proud owner of a smoking jacket. Frankly, I don’t care if he’s a single unemployed crumb broom salesman living in Detroit. Every one of his blog entries are masterpieces, he remains in character throughout, he engages his followers with group participation pieces, replies to hundreds of comments weekly (perhaps daily), and he posts almost every friggin day. He must be on some type of literary Viagra or something to be able to keep it up for the long haul. I’m speaking of none other than The Good Greatsby.
Well, I’m off now to contact the winners but would like to thank The Redneck Princess one last time.