Update to “Feline Genital Mutilation”


NeoVegan has what in the trunk of her car?

For those of you who have not yet read “Feline Genital Mutilation”, here’s basically what it was about…

  1. Recently a couple of previously unknown to me cats chose my backyard as their headquarters or vacation spot.
  2. I took pictures of them and sent them to my cat-lady sister, NeoVegan.
  3. NeoVegan got pretty insistent that we work together to abduct and cause to be sterilized these cats of undetermined feral or out-on-the-town-house-cat status.
  4. I expressed concern that even if these cats are indeed feral, it might not be moral to pluck them out of my backyard and submit them to surgeries on their most tender of anatomical areas.
  5. This being a holiday long weekend, NeoVegan was supposed to come to town. This means that not only will she be picking the best stuff out of the salad at the family BBQ but that she will most certainly promote her feline nip-and-tuck agenda.

Here’s what has happened since that post…

  1. My son, HoaiPhai Jr. and his girl were down for the week, saw the cats, thought that they were cute, and bought a bag of food for them. This smorg resulted not only in the cats in question setting up a permanent base in my yard but also attracted a few more cats who were possibly drunk but definitely belligerent who started fights over the free eats with the Happy Tabby family. I don’t usually have a major problem with drunk and/or belligerent cats but on the off-chance that NeoVegan shows up at my house for a visit having a whole squad of howling cats present increases the chance that NeoVegan will put the Happy Tabby family (and me)  on some kind of animal patrol “sweep ‘n spay” roster.
  2. I got another photo of Happy Tabby, shown above. As is the case with all photos shown on this blog, it looks much better in print.
  3. NeoVegan did come to town and, get this, brought a cat trap with her! I don’t know if she brought this especially for Happy Tabby. She is, after all, a Field Marshall in the Cat Capture, Cut, and Rescue Corps so she might always drive around with it in the trunk of her car “just in case” but, either way, I find it a bit disturbing that she has access to a trap and is willing to incarcerate and sterilize cats without due process, a right guaranteed under Clause 29 of The Magna Carta, for Pete’s sake.
  4. The first time I saw her this weekend she brought up her plan to abduct and carve the kitties.
  5. I was able to defuse the situation by reiterating the fact that we don’t actually know that these cats are feral and if they do belong to someone, doesn’t their owner have the right of first refusal to experience the fun of having his cat(s) sterilized?
  6. NeoVegan relented and withdrew from trying to convince me to be part of her little round-up.

An interesting thing happened during the unfolding of events described in Point #5 that, apparently, contributed in some major way to the resolution (Point #6). When I was saying that these cats could belong to someone, NeoVegan thought that my seeing these cats on an industrial property was a major indication that they were feral.

Her thinking was obviously flawed in that when I was a teen, my friend The Dane and I used to hang out in an abandoned factory lot and that didn’t mean that we didn’t have homes to go to or that we were feral (though teenage boys often smell that way) so why would seeing a cat in an industrial setting be the acid test for its ferality? And I have only one son and The Dane hasn’t conned any women into perpetuating his genetic information so just because you see some creature hanging around an industrial lot doesn’t mean that it’s out there populating the dickens out of the place. Besides, I told her that I had seen the cats in my own personal backyard and not in an industrial setting. Sheesh!

As it turns out NeoVegan had gotten my cat sighting incident mixed up with one of my brother’s cat sightings. How she did that, I don’t know because the initial exchange of e-mails I had with her took place over just a couple of minutes and I mentioned my backyard right up front. I don’t know… maybe she has taken up drinking (or maybe smoking) catnip tea or something.

So, anyways, local cats can sigh a little kitty sigh and sleep easy tonight as the trap remains secured within the Civilian Feline Rescue Mobile. Besides, NeoVegan has headed back to her home in a land far, far away where seldom is heard a discouraging word and tomcats are shooting blanks all day.

About HoaiPhai

I'm up late digging up the dirt. View all posts by HoaiPhai

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