Category Archives: Rants

Unimpressed By… Part I: Coffee

It takes something really special to get me excited about a cup of coffee.

It takes something really special to get me excited about a cup of coffee.

Intro to the “Unimpressed” Series of Posts

I’ve been loitering on this planet for over five decades and I’ve become a bit jaded. A lot of things that apparently impress a lot of people underwhelm me and what’s worse is that the situation has gone well beyond my being blasé, I’m beginning to get downright irritated at some modern trends.

It’s so frustrating to see people buying into stupid crazes like sheep. Because of this I sometimes find myself cranky and can imagine myself twenty years down the road as being one of those old guys who scream at the pigeons in the park —some might argue that’s pretty much where I am right now. So let’s take a look at some recent things that really get my goat and, if you’re lucky, I might even mention some solution you can personally implement or point you in the direction of some bastion where scum-sucking “progress” has not eroded a once good thing. Continue reading

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Feline Genital Mutilation

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Here’s a shot of “Felix” (I think it’s a “he”… it looks fairly butch but I have never had the opportunity to play peek-a-boo with its toilet area so I cannot be positive). He used to hang around my backyard giving me dirty looks while he peed on my Greek oregano but I haven’t seen him in a while. I don’t know what happened to him. Honestly.

I generally like animals but the arrogant guy in the photo above repeatedly turned his nose up at my attempts to make friends with him. Because of his insults I used to do little things to annoy him, like make noises to cause his cat ear automatic tracking reflex to kick in when he was trying to make me notice how completely he was ignoring me. Anyways, I once mentioned to someone that I thought it would be a funny, funny prank if I were to trap Felix, ship him off to Sweden for a quick sex change operation, and then, after an appropriate convalescence (his, not mine), release him back into the neighbourhood wearing a collar engraved with the feminine version of his name (Felicia) and maybe a couple of frilly pink ribbons attached to him somewhere. This would not only be a lovely trick to play on old Felix but also on Felix’s human family who would be left wondering where Felix had been for the past month or two, who bought the collar for Him, and where Felix’s reproductive gadget went. Continue reading


My Response to “100 Reasons Not to Look at Porn”

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Well, with exactly what kind of photo did you expect me to head off a post about pornography? Did you really think I would risk my blog’s more-or-less good standing as being family-friendly by having a nudie shot right up top for everyone to see? Anyway, a shaggy dog seems quite appropriate considering this post weighs in at around 8,000 words. Don’t worry, it’s long but fairly painless — most of it is in numbered point form.

I was sniffing around the interwebs and came across several references to what looks like a now-defunct comment thread entitled, “100 Reasons Not to Look at Porn”. As near as I can figure it, this page dates back to February of 2010 and was part of a site that had been around since at least as far back as 2007. TeensAgainstPorn.com described itself thus:

“Teens Against Pornography is an online community where teens who are struggling with sexual purity can seek advice, prayer, and support.”

My best guess is that the page was put up as a project for a church’s youth group that had a number of members struggling with resisting temptation to look at porn. Apparently someone came up with the idea that the group’s members could support each other in their quest to become porn-free by sharing their own private reasons for thinking that staring at porn is not the best way to spend time. I guess they opted for an on-line forum to discuss this issue instead of bringing it up at meetings because… Continue reading


I’ve Been Deemed “Awesome At Awarding Awards”!

About a week ago, The Hobbler named me as a recipient of her “Awesome At Awarding Awards” award. In case you are unfamiliar with this award, it is retaliatory in nature… you get it because you have given someone else a blog award. Think of it as a form of blogospheric payback.

While I love getting blog awards (who doesn’t like a little pat on the back every once in a while?), I’m not a big fan of having to jump through the flaming hoops set up as part of the whole deal, such as passing them on to others. I have two main reasons for this…
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Shut Up and Sing

I love a good song. Who doesn’t? There’s something about music playing in the background that imparts upon the human voice greater beauty and increased credibility. The gestalt of the whole music/vocal experience is a magical thing.

But a few years ago I did a really stupid thing… I read the lyrics while not listening to a song and found the underlying meaning to be so humdrum it eroded the song’s beauty. So now while I still enjoy music, I understand that if I don’t scrutinize the actual meaning of a song’s lyrics, I just might be hypnotized into believing whatever drivel is being sung. The corollary to this is that if I really like a song, I don’t read the lyrics with the speakers turned off.
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How Facebook Killed the High School Reunion

In the mid-90s I went to my 20 year high school reunion and had a great time.

I was really psyched about seeing the old gang and how they’ve turned out, and hoped that there would be a few who hadn’t matured too much so I’d have someone to relate to. I wasn’t at all worried that I didn’t have many braggable accomplishments under my belt because my fear and pride were eclipsed by my curiosity as to how the high school babes blossomed into middle-aged beauties. I was happy to find that a few people attended who I had spent a considerable amount of time with over the years from Kindergarten through Grade 11. Continue reading


Happy Canada Day! — A Photographic Celebration of a Warm but Shivering People

A maple donut, a beer, and a BBQ… what could better symbolize Canada Day? I looked all over town for a special Canada Day donut to share with you but couldn’t find one, so I had to make my own. I guess a donut is so blatantly Canadian that the donut industry feels it’s a bit redundant to emblazon such an icon of our country with any sort of embellishment. Maybe they have a point… you don’t see Americans painting bald eagles red, white, and blue on their Independence Day.

Sunday July 1st, 2012 marks Canada’s 145th year since Confederation and 30 years since we became a fully independent country. And what a great country we live in!

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