We all need to feel useful, don’t we? One of the things that validates us is having a good job and that’s why being unemployed is so stressful, even if finances are not an immediate concern. If you know someone who’s out of work and want to really stick it to them and don’t mind hitting below the belt, start talking about their employment situation. I know how devastating it can be because I was once on the receiving end of the dreaded “Job Talk”. Continue reading
Tag Archives: practical jokes
Remember the excitement you felt back in elementary school when April Fool’s Day rolled around? Remember your high school years when April Fool’s Day could very well mean a trip to the nurse’s office and getting out of History and Phys Ed due to your injuries or a mandatory interview with local law enforcement? Wasn’t that fun? Why did all that have to end? Society, in the form of our educational institutions, beats the wonder and “fun” out of a child, that’s why.
I regularly contribute to an Employee Administered Retirement Savings Plan (I buy lotto tickets) because I hate working. It’s not that I don’t like the people I work with or that the job itself is particularly painful, it’s just that life is short and there are any number of things I would rather spend forty hours doing every week, like flossing with rusty piano wire. Due to some poor planning years ago, I will never be able to retire on the peanuts I’m paid. My only hope is to hit all seven numbers on the lottery.
Remember the excitement you felt back in elementary school when April Fool’s Day rolled around? You never quite knew what to expect but you were expecting something.
Then the teachers got together and declared that April Fool’s Day was only in effect during the morning. What a rip-off. Confining youthful exuberance to only a few short hours forced the thirty kids in your class to pull their pranks almost simultaneously, shattering almost any hope for suspense or the undivided attention of the whole class while Mrs. Burnthistle tripped your primitive jam-tossing IED.
We can bring back the spontaneity and surprise to Prank Day by moving it to August 1st, but we cannot tell too many people beforehand, OK? The first day of August is ideal as the weather will be pretty good, a lot of people will be on vacation, it will catch everyone off guard, and August starts with an “A” just like April does.
There are only a few short weeks left until the big day so we better get down to planning right away. Here are a few new gags I’ve thought up that will keep your targets on their toes: Continue reading