2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog. But before we get into the report I’d like to thank all of my readers, including the ones who didn’t come to read at all but just to look at pretty pictures, for making this happen. This year I’ll try my best to tear myself away from wherever the hell my free-time has been going and to churn out more posts and to visit your blogs. And that’s about as close I came to a New Year’s resolution this year, my friends.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 12,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.


What To Do When Your Back Is Against The Wall

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“The Italian Wall” is a bane to The Redneck Princess. From this angle it doesn’t look to me like a major eyesore but the imposition of obstructions can be vexing to those who for many years have had the benefit of scenic vistas.
Photo courtesy TheRedneckPrincess.net… if “courtesy” means that I snagged it off her site without her express permission.

Welcome back, boys and girls, to Uncle HoaiPhai’s problem solving club!

This week we will be tackling a problem The Redneck Princess is having with her neighbours in Abbottabad Abbotsford, BC — a problem so vexing to her that she has written at least twice about it on her own blog, here and here.

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Revenge Inc. Part II: The Settling of Accounts

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Revenge is never pretty (but it can be quite satisfying).

Last week in Revenge Inc. I made my readership an offer they couldn’t refuse. I don’t want to say that the vast majority of them refused my offer because should anything sudden and unfortunate happen to them a coroner’s inquest could infer that I might have a “motiva uvam acerbam” [sour grapes motive]. So, to be on the safe side, let’s just say that only two of them accepted my most generous offer.

Let’s dive right in and solve some problems!

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Revenge Inc.

Oops!

Oops! That’s a shame. How’d it happen?

Life can be frustrating, what with all the obstacles that it keeps throwing in our paths, but we have to remain philosophical… what choice do we have? I mean it’s frigging life we’re talking about here… it always wins in the end so we’re pretty much screwed. But when it is another person who is making things difficult for us, well, that’s a different story.

We could, I suppose, reason with the person causing us problems to achieve an equitable outcome but diplomacy tends to put us back into the position we were in before hostilities began and ignores compensation for any wrongs, real or perceived, done to us. This is where retaliation shows itself to be the better, more just, and more satisfying solution to many of life’s little problems. Continue reading


Update to “Feline Genital Mutilation”

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NeoVegan has what in the trunk of her car?

For those of you who have not yet read “Feline Genital Mutilation”, here’s basically what it was about… Continue reading


The Be Your Own Boss Kit

We all need to feel useful, don’t we? One of the things that validates us is having a good job and that’s why being unemployed is so stressful, even if finances are not an immediate concern. If you know someone who’s out of work and want to really stick it to them and don’t mind hitting below the belt, start talking about their employment situation. I know how devastating it can be because I was once on the receiving end of the dreaded “Job Talk”. Continue reading


Feline Genital Mutilation

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Here’s a shot of “Felix” (I think it’s a “he”… it looks fairly butch but I have never had the opportunity to play peek-a-boo with its toilet area so I cannot be positive). He used to hang around my backyard giving me dirty looks while he peed on my Greek oregano but I haven’t seen him in a while. I don’t know what happened to him. Honestly.

I generally like animals but the arrogant guy in the photo above repeatedly turned his nose up at my attempts to make friends with him. Because of his insults I used to do little things to annoy him, like make noises to cause his cat ear automatic tracking reflex to kick in when he was trying to make me notice how completely he was ignoring me. Anyways, I once mentioned to someone that I thought it would be a funny, funny prank if I were to trap Felix, ship him off to Sweden for a quick sex change operation, and then, after an appropriate convalescence (his, not mine), release him back into the neighbourhood wearing a collar engraved with the feminine version of his name (Felicia) and maybe a couple of frilly pink ribbons attached to him somewhere. This would not only be a lovely trick to play on old Felix but also on Felix’s human family who would be left wondering where Felix had been for the past month or two, who bought the collar for Him, and where Felix’s reproductive gadget went. Continue reading